Today I had acupuncture. I think this was my fifth session. No, sixth. Something like that.
I'm having a lot less pain. I mean, I still have random aches. My hips have improved so much since starting acupuncture, though. I've had some pain periodically in the right hip. My left hip doesn't hurt at all. My elbows barely hurt. It's really amazing how much better I feel, physically.
I've also seen a massage therapist twice and will be seeing her again in two weeks. I still have huge knots in the muscles of my neck and shoulders. But she gets them out. I think it's helping.
The downside? Well, besides the cost. Which I think is worth it.
The downside is that I am feeling more anxious now. I have had some new memories of trauma. I think that feelings and memories that were being held in my body are being released. Which is probably really a good thing, but it doesn't feel so good, you know?
Today during my acupuncture session, I was lying on my back, listening to this relaxation CD with ocean sounds on it. And I started to cry. I wasn't exactly sure why I was crying, but I cried a little bit. I was pretty much stuck in the position I was lying in, because I had needled in both hands and in both feet and it hurt to move either hand even a little bit and it also hurt to move my left foot at all. All I could comfortable move was my right foot and my head and neck. I could turn my head from side to side.
Isaac was lying at on the floor near the end of the table I was on. I turned my head to the right and called to Isaac and he got up and came over to the head of the table and sat by my head, looking at me intently. There wasn't anything I needed him to do. I would have petted him if I could have reached over without the needles being in the way and causing pain, but since I couldn't, I didn't. I felt better just having him near me. After a minute, I told him he could lie down, and he did.
Having Isaac with me is an immense help. Dealing with all these feelings and memories really sucks, though.
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