Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Again with the "Suicide is Selfish"

It shouldn't surprise me that after the death of Robin Williams by suicide, people are making the same old ignorant comments about "suicide is selfish" and "cowardly."  And maybe I'm not so much surprised.  But I'm angry.  And I'm hurt.

He died of depression.  It's sad.  It's tragic.  But it's not selfish.  It's no more selfish than if he'd died of a heart attack or cancer or a stroke.  And it's no more cowardly.

Mental illness is an illness.  It's not a choice, it's not a character flaw, it's not a moral failing, it's not a weakness, it's not an act of cowardice or selfishness.  It's an illness.  Why is it so hard for people to get that?  Why do people refuse to acknowledge and accept that?

11 comments:

  1. I have been thinking about this post for awhile, wondering whether or not I should comment. And I disagree with you. What about the people left behind by suicide? What if the person who chooses to kill themselves has someone who loves them? Someone who would be devastated by the given individual killing themselves? So, yes, suicide is selfish. And I have been deeply depressed and have despaired. But I will not end my own life.

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    1. Is it selfish if a person dies from cancer? What if the person that dies of cancer has someone who loves them? Someone who would be devastated by the given individual dying of cancer?

      Many people have had cancer but not died of it. What does that have to do with the fact that some do die of it?

      And if you do not think it is selfish if someone dies of cancer, why do you view cancer differently than a mental illness?

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    2. Because cancer is something you have very little control over and a person's mind is, mostly, under the control of the owner of the mind. You are comparing apples to oranges. No one chooses to get cancer, yet they choose to kill themselves!

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    3. People have no more control over mental illness than they do an illness like cancer. I see you don't understand that. People do not choose to be mentally ill.

      And in some ways, we do have control over cancer. I have control over whether I smoke, for instance, which greatly increases the risk of cancer. I have control over whether I do monthly breast self-exams and get annual mammograms, both of which increase the likelihood of diagnosing breast cancer early, and early diagnosis greatly increases the chance of survival. If I smoke, does that mean I choose to get lung cancer? (I don't smoke, by the way, but if I did?)

      But I have PTSD as a result of being sexually abused as a child. I did not choose to be sexually abused, nor did I choose to develop PTSD. If I died of suicide as a result of PTSD which is a result of severe childhood abuse, do you really think that would be my choice? If you do, then you really don't understand. Want me to explain it to you? Or do you just want to think it's all under my control?

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    4. No one forces someone to kill themselves. I also have PTSD due to decades of abuse I endured in a now ended marriage. I have also had other abusive relationships with family members as well as a former friend, as well as being too physically disabled to work, yet I am still responsible for how I choose to exist in the world! I can't let myself off the hook for anything!

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    5. Another point I wanted to make about suicide, what if the person has a child? Isn't the main job of any parent to set a good example for a child?

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    6. Sure, a parent should set a good example for a child. But I don't think dying of a serious illness is setting an example either way, good or bad. If a parent dies of a heart attack or cancer, are they setting a bad example for their children? I don't think so. I don't think dying due to depression or other mental illness is setting an example, either.

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    7. Dying of a serious illness is involuntary, suicide is voluntary. Again, you are comparing apples to oranges! Now there is one set of circumstances that completely justifies suicide and that is a situation where someone suffers from a terminal illness and will have no quality of life.

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  2. I give up. You insist on comparing apples to oranges! Y0UR LACK OF LOGIC IS IMPRESSIVE!

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    1. Most people that die of suicide are mentally ill. Mental illness is NOT voluntary. I don't know why you can't get that. People don't choose to be mentally ill. Suicidal thoughts and behaviors are a SYMPTOM of that ILLNESS.

      Chest pain is a symptom of heart disease. Nausea is a symptoms of gall bladder disease. Do people with heart disease choose to have chest pain? No. It is a symptom of their disease. They don't choose to have a serious illness or the symptoms that go with it. And if they die of that illness, that is not a choice either.

      Why do so many people insist mental illness is a choice? I did not choose to be mentally ill. I don't know anyone that is mentally ill that choose to be so.

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  3. And now I am going to close comments on this post. I am willing to engage in discussion of hard topics. But I am not willing to continually debate whether or not people choose to be mentally ill and suicidal. I don't think that is helpful for me or others. We've discussed it and it seems apparent we are going to continue to disagree.

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