Friday, March 8, 2013

Counting My Blessings

I've been feeling rather sorry for myself lately because, you know, my life is hard.  I have plenty of things to be depressed or discouraged about.  But I also have plenty of things to be grateful for.  It's so easy to get all caught up in feeling sorry for myself, though.  I wonder why it's not as easy to focus on gratitude?

I'll probably write about some of the things that are discouraging me so much sometime soon, but right now, I wanted to count my blessings.

  • I have what I consider all the basics in life: a reasonably comfortable place to live, plenty of food to eat, comfortable clothes to wear, a car that runs (even if it makes weird noises), a cell phone, a laptop, and internet service.  It's kind of funny, if you think about it, that we consider things like a cell phone and internet service to be basic necessities; in many parts of the world, people are lucky to have running water and electricity.  Cell phones and computers would be considered real luxuries. 
  • I have Isaac.  I was really lucky to find a program near me that would train a service dog for me, and even luckier that the program did not have a long waiting list (most programs have one or two year waiting lists for service dogs, but I got Isaac in just under six months).  I was really lucky that the program agreed to let me make payments since I couldn't come up with the full fee up front.  Of course, I have also been blessed by all the people that made donations to help cover the cost of my service dog.
  • I have some really wonderful friends.  I feel lonely a lot and get depressed because I don't have any family and very few friends that live near me.  Last weekend I was really depressed because I had to give Isaac a bath and it hurt my back a lot to bend over the tub to do that, but I didn't have anyone that could help me do it.  I have friends that would help, if they lived closer, but no one is going to be able to make the six hour round trip to spend ten minutes helping me bathe my dog.  Despite that, I do have wonderful friends.  There's my friend Julie, who took a day off work and made the six hour round trip to visit me back in November when I was in the hospital.  There's Lynda, who made some phone calls to doctors' offices for me when I was too anxious to do it myself.  There's Debbie, who took me out to dinner on Christmas Eve, so I wouldn't have to spend the whole holiday alone.  There's Susan, who once drove all night long from New Jersey to Michigan when I staying in a hotel there while attending an outpatient treatment program for people with PTSD and having all kinds of problems functioning, just to help me.  There's Dana, who does energy work with me.  There's Jason, who made me promise to call him the next time I wake up scared in the middle of the night.  There's Laura, who listens to me vent and never tells me to quit complaining already.  There's Lora, who listens to my fears and has never suggested they are irrational in any way.  I know I'm forgetting to name some people, but I really do appreciate all my friends.
  • I have a job that I like, writing, and income from SSDI to help make up for what I am not able to earn due to my disability.  I'm certainly not rich, but I generally have enough money for the things I really need.
  • I have Isaac. Yeah, I know I already said that.  But beyond being lucky to get him, I'm grateful that he loves me and helps me.  My back is much better since I have him to pick things up for me and help with things like laundry, I am able to manage my anxiety attacks much better, and I really enjoy his company.

1 comment:

  1. I think it's awesome that you took the time to list what you are grateful for like this! I try to do this from time to time and it helps me be grateful and count my blessings and gain perspective. I've read a bit about the power of positive thinking and counting one's blessings is one of the first things they recommend. I think you're a great friend and person and am grateful for you!

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